Stretch Armstrong Freestyle

From Left: Stemmy, Rob, and Spungalo Stemmy I've already talked to E.G. Colin from the Bud Distributor about our need for BL sweatbands next year.

I was the first up, showered, and ready as usual Saturday morning. We were out of the house by 9:15, and on the Tee early, as I found out that it was an actual 10:30 Tee time. Rob had lied in his attempt to prove that we are always running late because of me. Refer to the first sentence, and the add in the fact that we had to stop at Sheetz for Rob to buy a Schmuffin.

Here we saw Rob just getting up, I was dressed and ready while taking this.

I really only added it to be fair and point out that Rob spent some alone time
on the couch with Bedtime Bear.

Rob decided that he was now too mature for a team uniform, we had previously done Bushwood CC shirts, Sleeveless dress shirts with ties, camouflage, Team Talbacka shirts complete with bleach blond hair, all black the year Rob wasn't there, and have even made props such as Pimp Chalices. We fell back to our first and default "costumes" Hawaiian shirts. Of course all of this matters little by the second tee when we've gone to tank tops and sleeveless t-shirts. We did consider wearing black arm bands for Wayne Sedmack. Wayne and his family are big supporters of the Ed Armstrong Scholarship, and throughout his last few years of deteriorating health Wayne was still at the turn talking to everyone as the ate their dogs and burgers. We weren't sure of the reaction so the idea was nixed, but when I saw an 8X10 of him at the sign in table I knew I had to tell them our idea. It was appreciated and got us hugs from Mrs. Sedmack that nearly led to tears at the conclusion of our round.

The drinking, as you could have guessed, started early. My goal was to open beer number two on swing number two. Goal accomplished. Then a disturbing thing happened, we never saw the beer cart! After a few holes played behind the sloooowwwest foursome in the history of golf accompanied by dehydration induced hallucinations I couldn't take it anymore. Stemmy and I left Rob on the tee and drove 5 holes away to track down the beer guy. When I finally caught up to him he was parked, but I wasn't taking any chances, I floored it up beside him, hit the brakes, and stopped our cart perpendicular to the front of his, actually grazing across the front bumper in the process. We were greeted with smiles and left with a cooler full of Buds, Bud Lights, and ice. Mission Accomplished. No surprise this led to my parring the next two holes.????????????????

We made the turn and the group ahead of us finally told us to go ahead. With no one ahead or behind us now, the humor really began. Most of it caused by Palumbo's yearly attempt to maim and/or kill me with a golf ball. He is the only person you could stand directly behind, in the middle of the fairway, (this is theoretical of course, there's no way he's ever in the middle of a fairway), and still be a little worried that he could hit you. There is a picture on Rob's blog of how to watch Stemmy hit, it is not a joke, I am constantly behind the cart. On one tee i was on the path next to it, 180 degrees from his ball sending a text message when his tee shot landed on the opposite side of the cart! I have no clue if it even cleared the roof or passed under it. You wanna make some money, take out a life insurance policy before the last weekend in July next year.

On number 11 the craziest thing I have ever seen on a golf course happened. It's a par 3 and all of us were chipping on from close. Rob went first and his ball was stopped dead a foot from the pin by the, "closest to the hole" proximity pin. I chipped up and knocked his ball a couple inches closer at a diagonal. Now were cheering for Stemmy to hit it. I'll be damned if he didn't chip on and cue shot Rob's ball into the hole. Rob took a questionable Birdie 2, but hey he only swung the club twice, and we were never on the green putting forcing him to mark his ball. Besides we were there to drink and encounter ridiculousness such as this, which is why Stemmy and I didn't hesitate to take pars for the assist when Rob offered.

Afterwards we discussed our rounds and enjoyed our steaks. For the first time in 11 years I continued drinking through the meal. I usually move on to water and Sprite at this point, but I had hit a groove. The weekend was everything I always hope it to be, A bunch of drunks in golf carts nearly killing each other, and I cannot wait until next years'. Again it would be nice to get another 4 guys to play behind us...and fall for our marshmallow trick.

The boys headed back to the Falls after eating and I went home for a shower and a 3 hour nap. When I woke up Karen and I headed out to Laurello's for wine and to meet Greg and Laura. We once again enjoyed Celtic music performed by John Hoyle and Forsythe Special. Then we headed back to the Locker Room where I had a late meal of hot wings again. Good thing the LR is only open on weekends or my cholesterol would be through the roof.