Catch 22

Quick post today. Today happens to be the birthday of 2 of my favorite people, Chris Silva (32) and Terry Bowlin who turned the big 3-0, (don't worry T 30 is the new 21). Speaking of being 21 Silva has planned a family trip to Vegas where he plans to hit 21 then party like he is 21, as he was doing in thios picture from January. Sorry CJ but afterthe way you held being 2 months older than I am over my head for the first 21 years of life, I intend to do the opposite for the next 50+. Terry was making arrangements for a party bus, which I will apologize once again for not being able to ride it with him. Here is a pix of TJ when we were in Big D last year around the time of his 29th, see how much younger he looks?

Anyway, one guy is a best friend/fraternity brother the other my cousin/best man/daughter's Godfather, but I am as close as real brothers with both. Boys I wish I could come get loaded with both of you tonight, and I hope to soon. But for now love you guys and hope you have a great time.

Oh and ignore the gay comments the Jerk will make, he hates emotions, but would say the same to Mead or Dragon on the phone while he twisted the kitchen phone cord around his index finger.

One (Cingular Sensation)

HUGE apologies true believers, I have been away from the Odyssey for way too long. It's hard to believe I could go from posting everyday to twice a week to once in two weeks, but I have. The only explanation I can give you is that the posts became a little to big. I started back in December posting random ideas with the occasional post supporting my radical left-wing agenda, and ended up posting an occasional sports post, or pictures of a big event in my life tossed in amongst a growing number of posts in which I tried to save the world. I am still going to try and save the world but a little less often.

The sports posts died down after the cavs, (not in all caps intentionally now), barely showed up for The Finals. Most of what I could have said about them and their season would have been the same rhetoric that was in every newspaper in Northeast Ohio, which is why I didn't read them or post my own thoughts.

Plus , you must realize that a few posts lead to comments that receive responses longer than the original post. Most evident in cases where Dr. Bologna edits my posts for me. However, don't believe the anger in our debates, it is his sharp wit and ability to leave voice mails on my phone where he recites an entire episode of the Howard Stern Show that led to my asking him to be my Chief-of-Staff when I am elected President.

So here's what I have been up to:

The school year ended on the 11th of June, on the 12th I started teaching Summer School. SS begins at 8 AM and ends at Noon. At noon Celebrate starts, Celebrate is an after school program that is tied into Summer School. I didn't have to do both, but it's only 3 weeks and it's mostly playing games and going on field trips until 2:30. The downside is that it is organized so poorly I come home wanting strangle someone everyday. I couldn't care less that it's disorganized but they expect us to be on top of and prepared for every situation.

Tuesday, I started my training for Cingular. Meaning I immediately get dressed after Celebrate, drive to Mayfield Heights, and sit in front of a computer for 4 hours to take web based training courses. Today, I learned the ins-and-outs of the new Apple iPhone; it's going to be an amazing piece of technology.

In conversation today Jerry, who is my boss, mentioned that he had a bag of Andy Capp's Hot Fries recently. I realized I have been eating Hot Fries for 20 years, and during that time the price has never gone above .99 cents and the bag size has never decreased. In an age of more for less, it's good to know Andy Capp is a man of the people.

Yesterday when I got there, he showed me haw to do a few things on the computer, and then we both headed out the front door to walk down to Convenient to get a pop. After I got there, and immediately walked out of the store with Jerry, I commented that we just had a very Rick and Stim moment. Reminiscent of Rick and John's management in absentia philosophy. I kid, they were actually involved in very important upper management activities, like doing a head count of mall shoppers or playing pinball.

I had a great moment today. As most of you know I went from teaching 5th and 6th grade Social Studies to running the computer lab. I enjoy this very much, but miss standing in front of a class and teaching a subject that I love, even more so since my district and really the state of Ohio really de-emphasize Citizenship. Then we complain that kids are clueless about the world we live in. I guess it's like I always told my classes when leading up to the Civil War and we discussed why slaves were forbidden to learn how to read. I told them because to the plantation owner, "A dumb slave is a good slave." The last thing the master wants is for the slave to learn somewhere that he isn't lesser than the master. To answer your question, "What the Hell is he talking about now?" let me explain my analogy. We don't give our students the knowledge they need to question their world, or authority. We teach them to be sheep, then get angry that they can't think for themselves. One of my main goals was to instill in my students the belief that they could love their country deeply, and at the same time question its actions. Point of this whole paragraph, as I try to save the world again, was that it felt great doing this 20 minute impromptu lesson that started with a student simply asking, "What state is Washington D.C. in?"

I hope those thoughts were random enough, I intend to post again sometime tomorrow.

Crocodile Rock

Got a text from my brother today, he and George Dragon took Ralphie, George's son Bobby, and Leo Orlando down to Florida Gator Youth Football Camp. When they went to Arizona for the National Championship Game, Urban told them to bring the boys down for the camp and he would take care of everything. He told me to make sure I put up a link to his blog because he put a bunch of pictures up from in already. I got this one of the the Waterford Crystal trophy from inside Coach Meyer's office that said, "Not in Jim Tressel's office." I, of course, told him he has one too.

He also told me that they are selling T-shirts that say, "Beating OSU, so easy a caveman can do it!" Which I have to admit is pretty funny.

****On a side note how about the shot of Eva Longoria hitting the O-H-I-O's during Hang on Sloopy at the CAVS game.

Sabotage

Not really sure how I conceived this ridiculous idea, but I decided ron and I needed to pose as cops resolving a hostage situation. Which let's face it is exactly what marriage is all about. Luckily for all in attendance Brendan, who is a corrections officer at Cuyahoga County Jail, did not bring his Glock. I was begging to hold it because I didn't have a prop. Ray's dad, who was a real cop, I'm sure thought we were ENORMOUS idiots. Between our two cameras there are probably 10 pictures where we couldn't compose ourselves and look serious.

Next we have a picture of Stemmy fresh from shooting Reno 911 on location. He was also showing off because he know he doesn't need a car door to block his belly.

Jackson

If you go to Salem there is only one stop you have to make sure to make, Pop Jackson's. Pop's is the greasiest of greasy spoon. The first time I was in there the waitress took our drink order, all Mountain Dews, went to the register, grabbed a handful of quarters, then walked to the pop maching in the back of the restaurant.

My favorite item is the Monster Burger, there are four of them accompanied by fresh cut fries in this picture. We had the waitress take this, and somehow she didn't deem it necessay to get all four of us in the shot. No harm, the burger is the real star here anyway.

Falling into the too much of a good thing category was the return 2 am trip for breakfast, and in some cases more burgers. At this point I was having 3 totally different arguement with three different people at the table. I can't really get into it but my favorite was Stemmy getting mad at Ron and I for arguing while he was ordering because we know people can't understand him as it is, let alone when were yelling back and forth in front of him.

Brendan not only drove us back at the end of the night, he also picked up the tab. Thanks B.J. I hope we can get plans for this Fall's Fleaves finalized soon.

Photograph(s)

As we walked through the streets of Salem looking for hole in the wall bars after the reception, the evening took on a Deer Hunter Feeling. Luckily no one ran naked like DiNero.

This guy I don't know. He is the MC for D.J. Kenny "The Music Whore" Glick. I took his picture because I couldn't help but call him Miles Finch, and wonder if Santa knew he left the North Pole.
"He's an angry elf"

Sweetheart Saranade

It was smooth sailing for most of us, unfortunately the seas were rougher for Myers and Selena. They were 40 minutes late because a girl ran a stop sign and hit them. Obviously, it could have been much worse. Travis seems to be wishing it had been.

Here's a shocking picture of Brendan, Alaymini, Travis, and I outside the hall

I Want Candy

This weekend I traveled to beautiful Salem, Ohio for the wedding reception of Mr. and Mrs. Ray Esterly. Due to the extreme amount of alcohol imbibed, in excess of 20 beers, I never considered snapping an actual photo of the bride and bridegroom. Instead I have this one of Helen slightly and gry that we are still at the hotel a half hour after the reception was scheduled to begin and her parents were still 20 minutes away. Ray on the other hand looks absolutely fabulous in this number, Suit by Hugo Boss, hand bag by Coach.

Oh by the way they were officially married in December, but waited for better weather for the reception. I am not sure how I made it until 3 in the morning, I was on 4 hours sleep, and ready to take a nap in the Jeep as soon as it was under shade. That was at 6:30, by 7:30 I was ready to keep drinking, which is exactly what I did.

Ray and Helen, thank you for the invite, I had a great time, of course how could I not with the group of guys that were there.

Viva! Jay Vegas

Are you his next victim? Is it safe to answer the phone?

Just when you thought the internet couldn't get any better, it does so 10 fold. I was ecstatic today when I checked Myspace today and there was a bulletin from Jay B. Unlike most of the garbage surveys and junk I get set I knew this would be good because I trust Jay's discretion on these things. Well, good couldn't begin to describe what was in it. It was a link to Jay Vegas' second Myspace, and the home of 4 tracks off of his debut album Prank Me and his Sophomore, (and sophomoric) effort, Prank MeAgain.

If you've heard these, you know they are worth a listen, if you haven't then why are you continuing to read this? GO NOW! To think you could be hit by an asteroid sitting at your computer before you heard these and I would have to show up at your wake to tell your friends and family that you lived a wasted life disturbs and saddens me. But that is just what I would have to do, so don't F with fate.

I only hope that jay makes these available for purchase somehow, because 4 prank calls hardly does justice to the whole catalog. The albums were originally pressed and distributed by Underground Lab Productions. This happened around the turn of the century, and I kid you not people that haven't seen him in a while or even know him come up to him at bars and tell him that they've heard these calls some how.

Now again, go sannerim, or I will call and report it!

****Little known fact It was not the Documentary Super Size Me rather the heat brought upon from the Upsize It call that lead to McDonald's and other chains discontinuing the practice of attempting to up-sell customers with larger fries and carbonated soft drinks.

You Need a Hug

THEY DID IT!
The Cavaliers are going to the NBA Finals for the first time in their history. I'm sure you either watched the game or don't care, but either way you don't need my take on it. I just have two things I'd like to point out that really stuck out to me.

1. This picture. My favorite thing of the whole night was that at the buzzer the first thing LeBron did was look for Z to hug. He knows the ups and downs Z has been through with this team and his health, plus the tragedy in his personal life earlier this season when his wife delivered still born twins. While fans all over Cleveland cried to get rid of Z, LeBron was in the front office saying I need him, resign him.

2. Daniel "Boobie" Gibson. How good is this kid? I think Sports Center had the best analogy, calling him Robin to James' Batman. I know that's a common reference, but it's perfect when considering the size of the players and how LeBron has brought him along. My thoughts about Boobie go back to hi first couple of games. There was one in particular where he missed a lot of shots, and you could see LeBron telling him don't worry about it just keep shooting. The CAVS lost that game, and that was okay with BronBron, because he knew what he was doing. He was giving this kid permission to play his game, in turn his confidence led to Gibson's confidence in himself, which then turned into some outstanding games in the Eastern Conference Finals.

I'm keeping it short so that's it. Except to say "Thanks Indians for ruining it."
Game 1 is Thursday at 9pm
Oh Yeah and Bye Bye Sheed!

Tonight's the Night II

Go ahead and click the CAVS logo to hear the sweet sounds of Michael Stanley singing the Cavaliers' theme song from the 80's.

Can they pull this off? Can the CAVS beat the once mighty Pistons 4 straight times and advance to the NBA playoffs? I don't know but I do know that after last night's Indians 9th inning come back and Bron Bron's performance Thursday night Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick has the deed to the city out and is just trying to find a pen that writes.

If they beat the Pistons all the talk about them only getting to the conference finals because of an easy path through the first two rounds need never be mentioned again.

Anyway, I'll write more tomorrow, when I'm sure to be depressed about a loss and worried about Monday back in Detroit. In the words of the Jerk, "What will we be feeling 11 hours from now?"

****Correction the CAVS are trying to get to the NBA Finals, they are already in the playoffs. Have been for like 3 months now.

The Return of the King

I have been given a self awareness of one thing since starting this blog, I could not be a sportswriter. Sure I could report the story of the game, but I don't think I could handle being a columnist. Honestly, how could you watch a game like last nights, double-overtime, Cavaliers, game five, victory on the road, which ended around midnight, and spit out an article before press time that truly captured what you had just WITNESSed? I am writing this before I read anything about the game so that I can assure myself and you that these are my thoughts, and not stolen from someone qualified to write them. However, it's ten hours later and I'm still not sure I can do it, the gravity of what occurred last night is deserving a novella to truly do it justice. Except that it would fall into the truth is stranger than fiction category.

I mean are you kidding me with Lebron's performance last night? I am sure there are some that will say, “Well if he hits a free throw in the 4^th, none of that is necessary.” Okay, I admit I am one of those people. But at the same time how about he misses his 4^th quarter charity shots and refuses to let the team lose because of him. Of course if you look at the the rest of the teams stat lines, they would have only won because of King James. Not only did he score 29 of the last 30 points, he had 7 of the teams 13 assists.

Z helped with 16 points and Boobie Gibson had 11 with another strong showing at the line and big 3 at the end of the 3^rd quarter, but both fouled out in OT and beyond them no one else did much. Larry Hughes looked early on like he might give the CAVS at least one of his sporadically seen big games, draining 2 threes, then he went on to miss clutch free throws and turn the ball over 4 times, (although I swear it was more like 15 times). Anderson and Gooden certainly made me miss Carlos Boozer last night when they failed to combine for a double-double, earning only 16 points and 9 boards between them. Varejao did take the clothesline tackle from Antonio McDyess which lead to his ejection, and Nifong-hole Chauncy Billups saying:

"That was big, man, that was big. Dice has been playing great for us, and they know that kid flops every time. For him to exaggerate - that's probably what got him tossed.”

Unfortunately when the wrestling match broke out LBJ also got T'ed up for running over to stand up for AV. After all was said and done nothing changed, Pistons made their free throw, Anderson split his pair and the CAVS failed to score on the possession that followed. These performances and a few other forgettable stat lines is why I actually giggled on the car ride home when LeBron said, “I give all the credit to my teammates tonight.” Okay Bron we get it, you are unselfish, you play the game the way it was meant to be played, you always say the right things, but COME ON IT WAS 5 ON 1 OUT THERE!

Now, to what I really want to talk about, LeBron James' performance. I do not know how to describe it because I am not sure where to cap the accolades. I guess I will stop short of “Greatest Playoff Performance Ever,” although I can't remember one better, and just insert “One of the...” before that title. He scored the last 25 points, spanning half the 4^th and 2 OTs, he did it with no one else doing anything offensively, with the exception of Sasha's 3 straight failures. He did it with every Piston knowing he was going to do it, and not one of them being able to stop him. He did it all, dunks, lay-ups, jumpers, threes, fade-aways, floaters, and-ones, free throws, and even a big steal late. Even his air ball was perfect, the play started with 30 seconds left and Detroit got the ball back with 6.6 left, meaning even though he missed they used up almost all of the 24 second shot clock.

This game actually got to the point where I was no longer rooting for the CAVS, I was rooting for LeBron. The thought of him doing all this and them still losing made me sick to my stomach. To have to remember this game as a loss would have been just one of a myriad of heartbreaking Cleveland sports memories.

Unfortunately, Skip Bayless is off this week, so he will have to eat his crow on a beach somewhere rather than in front of the ESPN cameras. In fairness, he has been far from alone in his criticism of, “Prince James.” Well Skippy to paraphrase the immortal words of Dennis Green, “He is who I thought he is...You wanna crown him, go ahead and crown him.” He is King James, ruler of Cleveland and conqueror of Detroit.

LONG LIVE THE KING!

****Editor's Note Cleveland went 7-0 against Detroit in the last 7 days. 3 wins for the Cavaliers in the Eastern Conference Finals. 4 straight for the Tribe against the Tigers, which has served to create some breathing room a top the AL Central.