Father's Song

I apoligize in advance if any of this doesn't make sense or if someone feels it is a misrepresentation, please know I write this with tears running down my face and hands trembing so hard it is difficult to type.

Yesterday morning we got the unfortunate yet inevitable news. Karen's father, Robert Dudley, had passed away at 5:07 AM. I like to think he went peacefully in his sleep, but I know in my heart he fought until his final breath. He had finally succumbed to the pancreatic cancer that he had been courageously battling for almost a year. He was diagnosed February 2nd, and at that time we were told he had a month maybe three. So while we are extremely grateful for all the extra time we got with him, there of course is no amount of time that could have been enough.

He spent his last day at home with his family gathered around him, especially his five children, with the sounds of his grandchildren playing not far from his bed. The best way to describe Bob was as a Dad. Thee Dad, the one whose lawn had to be perfect, who didn't like people messing with his vehicles and whose main goal was keeping his kids safe, really the kind of amusing fatherly traits you'd see from a television or movie father. And sure his kids, myself included, did much to frustrate him and worry him at times but there was nothing, I mean nothing, that made him happier than to be able to help one of us out. For example, when Mattie was a baby, Bob bought her first winter coat because he knew we were struggling financially, well he also bought her winter jacket this year and I'm pretty sure everyone inbetween. He didn't have to anymore, but he wanted to do it. We'd pick it out and all he'd ask was to see what it looked like before he paid for it. He also seldom let us drive back home without filling our gas tank. Not to mention filing our taxes for us each year, including last years when I sat and entered the information while he stood behind me and walked me through each step.

I have plenty of good memories, one that comes to mind was when he and I drove all over Canton to different Italian Deli's so that I could find the exact ingredients I needed to make a pizza to go along with the steaks we had bought to grill for Father's Day. I also have plenty of us sitting in the living room watching movies, specifically Good Morning Vietnam.

The hardest part so far has been sitting with the whole family, including some of his brothers and sister, in the living room and talking about him. I just kept sitting there waiting for Bob to appear at the bottom of the steps, form his room and say hello to everyone. Then of course check the thermostat and fiddle with the window blinds.

I could tell plenty of stories but what I really want to say is that I/we will miss you Bob and thank you for everything you've done for us.

Here is a link to his obituary from the Canton Repository. You can leave a message for the family there if you wish.

Calling hours will be held at Paquelet Funeral Home from 4-8 with the funeral being held at St. Joan of Arc Catholic Church at 10 on Monday. Arrangements have been made through Silva-Hostetler Funeral Home.

On a side note, I want to take a second to sincerely thank my cousin Christopher Silva for treating Karen's family as though they were his own and doing whatever he can to make this process easier.

Fisherman's Prayer
God grant that I may live to fish,

until my dying day,

And when it comes to my last cast,

I then most humbly pray,

When in the Lord's safe landing net,

I'm peacefully asleep,

That in his mercy I be judged,

As big enough to keep.